Losing You
by WolfUnderTheMoon
Summary: I leaned over the side of the bike more, craning my neck down…that looked just like a little figure, walking across the front lawn towards the house…but Remus wasn’t due to arrive for another – I checked my watch, just to make sure – half an hour yet. Tha


Disclaimer: Of this story, I own...um...authoric licence? Um...Sirius's house...the groceries...that's pretty much it.  
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Losing You

I glanced at my watch.

Damn.

I was running late. Again! I'm always losing track of time. This time it was because I'd been listening to the Muggle record player Lily gave me for Christmas a few years before; I'd been talking to her and James about some Muggle music I'd heard while I was out shopping in the centre of London the weekend before. Queen – brilliant band.

But that was before everything went wrong.

Now James and Lily, and Harry, all have to live in Godric's Hollow. I suppose it's alright there, but it's a bit poky compared to what James is used to. And, of course, they can't leave the house. They haven't been able to for over a year now. Little Harry'll grow up not knowing what the rest of the world looks like. Limited to a cottage and a tiny scrap of muddy garden. Dumbledore thinks it's for the best, and we know it is, but they're stuck there indefinitely, and it's no way to live your life. I know James is going crazy, having to stay inside all the time. He's trying to hide it, but he's used to being able to go and fly his broomstick, practice his Quidditch, that sort of thing, whenever he likes, and this must be hell for him. And the constant worry in case Harry manages to get out some day…

I was supposed to be going to Godric's Hollow that night for a party – a surprise birthday party for Remus. It was Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, whatever you wanted to call it – we'd teased him about that a few times, back at Hogwarts. It was gone eight now, almost quarter past, and I should have set off about ten minutes ago. Remus was set to arrive at nine – he probably had guessed we were having a party, knowing him, but he hadn't said – and you could definitely count on him to be on time. I couldn't Apparate to anywhere near the house – Dumbledore had done good work with those wards, when I tried it I bounced off them about half a mile away, and fell on top of somebody's car – while they were driving. All I can say is thank god I was wearing my invisibility cloak! And anyway, I'd been itching to show James my new flying motorbike. Prongsy almost died with jealousy when I told him!

I grabbed a case of Butterbeer, and shrunk down it and two bags of food I'd bought the day before at the supermarket in town. As I went outside to the garage I glanced at the clear sky – no moon. Remus would love it. He was always happiest at this stage of the lunar cycle. And you couldn't blame him. A couple of years ago the full moon had fallen on his birthday – poor guy. James and I had stayed with him, of course, as Prongs and Padfoot, but you could tell that that time was worse than usual.

It was strange – he'd seemed a bit more unhappy than usual lately. And a bit distant with me. There was news that somebody was leaking Order secrets over to the other side, but…well…I didn't _really _think that Remus could do that…did I? And Peter…ha, yeah, like he'd ever have the guts to do something like that. I hadn't seen him lately, none of us had, he always seemed to be busy, but I just hoped I'd thrown Voldemort off the scent by changing my Secret Keepership to him – it was lucky you could do that without informing the people you were keeping the secret for. I don't think James would have liked it – he was, of course, friends with Peter at school, but…I'm not really sure he ever liked him much. Possibly because he didn't like flying – it made him airsick. Since flying was one of the only things James ever talked about, that probably put a bit of distance between them.

Strapping the shrunken items to the back of my bike – there was plenty of space, it was huge – I roared off into the sky. Merlin, what a lovely noise. That's how a real machine should sound. And Muggles were working on making their little cars quieter? Why! What's the point if no-one knows you're there?

It wasn't far to their house. I thought the name in my head - Godric's Hollow - and it wavered into real vision, standing on a slight rise a few miles out on the other side of town from me. I'd moved there so I could get there quicker – from where I had lived before, it was a two hour journey, and it was amazingly cold that high up. I didn't have to fly too high tonight – my bike blended in well with the night sky, black on black. It was lucky that it got dark so much earlier at this time of year. Dumbledore would have a fit about me using my bike without the sight blockers on…well, ok, he'd probably just go all stony-faced and start with a lecture, I knew him. "Sirius…" Yeesh.

Then I noticed.

It was strange. The landscape around the house looked a bit different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It just seemed…darker than usual. Even at this time of night. And there would normally be more lights than that on in the house. I leaned over the side of the bike more, craning my neck down…that looked just like a little figure, walking across the front lawn towards the house…but Remus wasn't due to arrive for another – I checked my watch, just to make sure – half an hour yet. That meant…

No.

No way.

That little rat.

I started to drop quickly out of the sky, much faster than I would normally. Sod the bike, even if it did crash I could always buy a new one.

But then I froze, the bike hovering stationary in mid-air.

A blast of green light shone out of the house, shattering the windows in their frames. Pure death in light form. There was only one person it could be.

Voldemort.

That little rat had been in it all along, hadn't he. And I'd been a bloody fool, I'd changed him to the Secret Keeper, just like he'd wanted. And I bet he'd gone off, bowing and scraping to Voldemort, telling him he could give him James and Lily, and Harry, the last members of one of the most important wizarding families, just like that.

Just like that.

And I thought I'd been doing the right thing.

The right thing. Putting Voldemort off the scent. I thought he'd come after me, know that I was the obvious choice, never suspect _Peter_…who would use a worthless little rat like that? Because that's all he was, a worthless, cringing, sneaky little rat.

But of course. He'd always been power-hungry.

That's why he'd always hung round us at school. Always tagging along, basking in second-hand glory. And we'd never suspected. We'd enjoyed having a little fan.

I kicked the accelerator on the bike and pointed it down again. My head was clearing somehow, I knew it was too late…but maybe I could just get there in time to…do something, try and…I don't know, face Voldemort, he'd probably kill me but I had to _something_…

Another blast of green light blazed out. Two dead.

No.

Another blast of light, but slightly different, larger than before. But it still meant…three dead.

I landed about three minutes later. A massive broomstick was already on the lawn. Hagrid, that was easy to guess. I know Dumbledore would have sent him. Probably Apparated to the outside of the wards, then flew in.

And, lo and behold, Hagrid walked out. He was carrying a tiny bundle. Harry? But…how? There were three blasts of light, three dead, and…Voldemort?

I could see Muggle police cars driving up. They could see the house, but, again because of the wards, had never been interested in it. But the wards had been broken.

I could hear myself speaking to Hagrid. I was on autopilot. "Hagrid, I'm his godfather. Let me take him. You know I'll look after him." But I knew Hagrid wouldn't let me. Dumbledore's orders, and you didn't disobey Dumbledore.

I gave Hagrid my bike. I wouldn't need it again.


End file.
